Didn’t want to get out of bed this morning. Thank glob for my 14lb alarm clock.
Molly’s first trip to the dog park. She hated it.
Look what James’ daddy brought us! #Seithalil #Ali #Fireball
Cleared off the table to clean it. She took it as an invitation.
Those are my clean clothes you ass
He loves his daddy #darren #fattydingdongs
When I get to go home early.
“My wee-fee box.”
Kissy needy pants #darren #fattydingdongs
Okay sir, how many people are going to be using your internet connection at once on average?
Hey, if you’re biphobic, a TERF, or an MRA of any kind, you can stop following.
And if I’ve unfollowed you, it’s probably because you’re one of these.
"Yeah, do you service this city?"
No, sorry, we do not.
"WELL I KNOW THAT, THAT’S NOT WHAT I’M ASKING YOU!"
"My mother instilled in me that you don’t apologise for being a woman. There’s no apology in my femininity."
-Academy Award winner, Lupita Nyong’o
Fat Cat #fattydingdongs #darren